Minutes from the LASA 5th Congress

Minutes from LASA's A Good 5th Congress

9:30 EH and CA arrive. The guy who works the door in the morning recognizes them and doesn't ask for their names. A huge victory.

9:45 Founder's heat. Sauna at about 215-220. Spirits high in anticipation of USA v Ghana World Cup match. The Russian side is inquired after, and is said to be in disarray, with all the good talent being here in the US. "Here" seems to be said with disgust, even though here is where we are all sitting. Still, the mood is light.

9:50 First swim race: Lap of freestyle, taken by Helin by inches. Second race, length breast stroke, taken by Helin by a foot.

10 In the Finnish room, it's agreed that this heat, the long, even, Scandinavian heat is the day's favorite. Sure, the Russian room is unbeatable on any number of levels, but it's the Finnish heat after the hot room and pool that hits all the notes and forges forgiveness in a man's bones.

10:30 Women's track and field in the locker room gets people excited for the game.

10:45 EH's final heat before his appointment with May. Third swim race, lap breast stoke, Helin wins by inches.

11 TN arrives, CB is three minutes behind. CA and TN take a heat, agree to plaitza each other. A new revolution is formed.

11:20 The revolution comes to pass. TN plaitzas CA with an expert's hand bringing about total revitalization. The Russians are impressed with TN's technique, and tip LASA off to the use of gloves for the plaitza-er.

11:35 CB is deep into the LA Weekly, and he's feeling great about it.

11:40 After a dip in the pool, CA plaitzas TN, who takes an incredible amount of heat into his body via the venik. This is the way the day is supposed to work.

12 CA takes his shift with May, EH returns, hamstrings worked into jelly.

1 Rooftop Luncheon, beet salad, beers, komboocha served. CB makes good on not eating any of it. Rescind letters are again brought up, and this time, DN's name is added to the list of possibles. It's agreed that Rescind Letters should be hand-delivered, and CB offers to hire a PA for the job. A minute into extra time, Ghana takes a 1-2 lead, and holds it. US defeated, but mood at schvitz still light.

1:15 CB begs off.

1:45 Another round of heat, ending in the steam. It's agreed that there's something about the day that has brought LASA members into some of the deepest states of tranquility ever experienced.

2:15 Congress adjourned.

Attended

CA

EH

TN

CB

Absent with Excuse

JS

AG, though this might be the last time, barring continued medical excuse

The orange eating boy, to EH's delight

Absent with a weak "It's complicated...."

DN

Membership Rescinded (letter pending)

TH