Minutes from the Second Assembly

CA arrives at 10am. EH absent due to tax season.

CA completes full circuit, wonders where everyone is, contemplates many things, says hello to a Russian who shakes his head "Neit" in response.

JS arrives at 1130, bringing two civilians along with him. CA joins group for a circuit. Heat a big hit with civilians, JS shows guru in the pool, instructing his over-excited pupils to slow it down. Their later successes in the heat can be attributed to this sage advice.

Assembly on roof-deck at 1p. Chips, guacamole, Israeli couscous salad and Stone Pale Ale served. Weather, perfect. 80 degrees and sunny, saunamen wrapped head-to-toe in towels like Bedouins. JS forgets sunglasses, laments, but soldiers on undaunted. Debate ranges from automobile speakers to Israel to bicycle racing to laundromats to tax season to CB, who's good name is defiled. Long discussion about target shooting, clay pigeons and the like. A LASA excursion proposed.

CB arrives at 130p and is offered apologies for the defiling of his good name. CB goes for a circuit while the Roof Deck congress is completed and recessed.

Dangling feet in the hot tub times are enjoyed by the Saunamen, as civilians take another circuit. CB is confident in the preparation of his taxes, feels his accountant is a father-figure to him, but is not offered up for potential membership.

Entire group convenes in the steam. Civilians deeply impressed by the different levels of heat in steam room. CA wraps self in poncho and towels, lies down and falls asleep in corner, has short dream about Jessica Simpson.

On egress, Saunamen make note not to exchange money at the front desk at the risk of offending City Spa proprietor.

Second Assembly recessed at 245p.

Attended

CA

JS, plus two civilians

CB

Absent with cause

EH

TN

DN

AG

Absent with belligerence

TH

JJ

Minutes from the Inaugural Assembly

Meeting convened at 10 am. EH and CA first to arrive. Diesel smell noted outside City Spa. EH's broom negotiations go poorly, but no buyer's remorse noted.

CB second to arrive, purchases hat, very glad about it. Issued membership card.

First heat taken by CA, EH and CB.

TN and JS arrive next. A tour is given, the facilities are deemed acceptable.

Heats taken by CA, EH, JS, TN and and CB. EH makes first use of broom.

DN arrives wearing backpack. Given unofficial tour in said backpack.

First heats wrap up around 12, sun deck caucus convenes. Pita and hummous served.

At the caucus, debate begins about how LASA can open a heat establishment of its own. A build-out deemed impossible. The idea of acquiring one of the Korean baths is entered and seconded. CB worries about the implications of not having a Korean partner, claims to know the perfect Korean partner, becomes consumed with the particulars of the anticipated negotiations.

Second rounds of heat begin around 12:30.

TN begins to press the Bear for a plaitza, finally gets on some sort of list and is deemed "next."

CB begs off to fulfill moving duties.

JS declares the steam room his favorite for its curative abilities where his bronchial passages are concerned. In said steam room, DN volunteers to head up the Apparel Committee, whose first order of business is to commission a patch that can be sown on an existing or new sauna hat.

DN deems the Finnish sauna best suited to his needs, considers building one. The fate of Drinksies is considered. Though pressed, DN is not planning on removing any of the Tickle-Me-Elmos or the Walk-a-Baby bouncers from Drinksies anytime soon. EH is most enraged.

TN still waiting for plaitza.

12:45, luncheon convenes on the sun deck. Beet and Farro salad and Stone Pale Ales are served. Discussion includes growth (CB's member prospects must be heavily screened, no-show charter members to be reconsidered, TN's brother approved for membership; overall philosophy, grow smart, not fast). DN lucks into commissary services by CB's absence, but is unable to open his corked Lambic.

Rain pushes the luncheon inside, and TN and DN find excuse from the assembly (TN never gets his plaitza.)

JS turns the talk toward laundromat ownership, claims to read blogs on the subject, claims 50K annual profits can be made, that a 200K investment is needed, that you pay a man $900 a month to kep out the riff-raff. More ins and outs considered.

Third and last heats taken by JS, EH and CA.

LASA's Inaugural Assembly dismissed 2:30pm.

Attended

CA

EH

CB

JS

DN

TN

Absent with cause

AG

TH

Absent with belligerence

JJ

Los Angeles Saunamens Association - Inaugural Assembly

Today the Los Angeles Saunamens Association convenes for the first time at City Spa. I can't tell you how excited I am about this. This organization is what I've been working towards for many years, and it's finally taking shape. The group is solid, the heat will be perfect, and the day, though raining, couldn't be better!

Forty five minutes. Then, history.