Bad News from the Ritz Carlton

Went for a heat after my swim yesterday and the sauna was at 155. 155! I threw some water on the rocks, but it was futile. I made for the steam room, which is a fine way to soothe tired muscles, but as we all know doesn't invigorate like a nice sauna.

I had two too many beers last night, and at this altitude (7500'), that's a problem. I'd love to head down to the sauna and sweat that out, but what happens if I get there and they're posting 155 again? In this situation, a steam is the absolute wrong way to go. I'd just boil that booze inside my body.

I'm really in the thick of it here, guys. Letters of support appreciated.

Good News from the Ritz-Carlton

It's often joked that your friend Clay has one of the best of the "White Man's Problems," a phenomenon recognized and named by LASA member EH as being so ultimately inconsequential but nevertheless complained about. Mine is that the sauna in the Gentleman's Locker at the Ritz-Carlton Bachelor Gultch isn't hot enough.

And truth be told to readers of this fine blog, it isn't. 160 is not enough heat. The room is way too big for 160, too. The benches are low, the ceiling is high. 160 will never do.

But be glad, dear sauna enthusiasts, the Ritz-Carlton has addressed the situation. I went in today to find temps at a much more reasonable 180 and the door fitting tight as a drum. The room is still too big, the benches are still too low, but within ten minutes, I was pouring sweat, and that worked for me.

Thanks, Ritz-Carlton! You've officially got

a GOOD HEAT!

Minutes from LASA 7th Congress

9:20 CA and EH arrive and check in. CA is given locker number 1 + Michael Jordan, EH is given 1 + the unluckiest number in the world.

9:30 First circuits taken. Blistering heat in the Russian Room. CA wins the first swim race, 100m crawl.

9:40 In the second heat, a massive leak from the ceiling is noticed. The bucket catching the water is brackish. The ceiling above is bowed. This isn't good. Conversation turns to the excesses of the advertising industry and EH's inability to successfully plan his life around these excesses.

9:45 Same heat, CA gets into first ever argument with foreign national, an older gentlemen (not Russian) who had been spotted at the 6th congress with the door open waving out the heat. Attempting the same maneuver, CA calls him out, saying, "If it's too hot, sit lower." The old guy counters with "It's not the heat, it's the steam. It's too moist in here." And to this, CA admits he might be wrong. Too much moisture in that room isn't right. So he opens the door for the old bastard and excuses himself to the pool. EH wins the next race, a rematch of the 100m crawl.

10 The third heat is full of Russians. The foreign national complains again to Sergei about the heat, and now it seems like it's the heat that he's complaining about. Sergei claims the guys getting plaitzas wanted more, and they get to call the shots. But then Sergei backtracks, and says he'll open the door for the guy if he wants. And even though this debate is happening in English, neither EH nor CA can really make heads or tails as to what it's about or who's winning.

1030 The Finnish sauna boasts an "improvement:" a rock-panel wall around the sauna oven, unfinished. It looks terrible and seems to serve no real purpose. In talk about this, a long-time patron of City Spa chimes in with some wonderful history. It includes some detail of when the ceiling in the Russian Room was last done (recently) and when the hot tub was redone, and also some facts about an inspection conducted when his family's insurance brokerage was looking into providing for the City Spa. The owner is painted as a nice guy, but who has a misguided way of keeping up facilities. Interesting note: City Spa's recent water bill went from 9K to 30K. Imagine.

11 EH's Mormons are ruining the kids from UTEP, and this brings joy. No rooftop congress called for rain and time purposes, and so a tour of rain-catching buckets is made. There are more than should be reported. EH has a lot of plans for the Game Room, such serious meetings to be held, but such a lacking membership with which to hold them.

11:30 Another heat circuit is taken, and unfortunately the pool is too crowded for racing.

11:45 The day of heat ends with a long cook in the steam room. All is quiet and well.

12:10 CA and EH watch the Mormons stomp the Texans for a time, shower and dismiss the congress at 12:30.

Attended:

CA

EH

Absent with call:

TN

All other members not considered for attendance.